Mother's Day 2021 - Episode 18 Transcript
Can you believe it is May 7th? I can’t. I feel like this year Is already flying by. Although, I won’t sugar coat things – if I had my wish, it would be that May would go by a little faster than the other months. If you haven’t read my last blog post, you might head over the thecreativetable.net to find out why May is not my favorite month.
So again, May 7th and we are 2 days away from Mother’s Day (that’s a reminder to you if you have someone you might need to shop for – you have today and tomorrow!). If you are like me, you remember being in school and making fabulous clay items for your mom on Mother’s Day. From pinch pots to coiled bowls, to flat, somewhat round, circles that were supposed to be coasters – these were the masterpieces that came from our little pudgy fingers and they were presented on Mother’s Day with all the pride and gleaming smiles that we had in us. And many of those items lasted decades in our mom’s possession (if you are not someone who keeps their children’s artwork for a serious amount of time, I’m not judging you – just don’t tell me!).
I still have a coaster that our son made me when he was 3 years old. It is a 4 by 4 tile that he scribbled all over and I love it. I’m so thankful that I have it as a reminder of who he was at that age. And also, of that season. I was a single mom and working insane hours as a salesperson for the entire Southern part of the state for a wholesale floral company. Mother’s Day was our 2nd biggest season (Valentine’s Day being the first) and I was exhausted every night. I made one half of one percent as my commission and we lived on that (to say I busted my tail was an understatement). I remember him bringing his little wrapped gift into my room that morning and his eyes lit up when I opened it. Those are the moments you want to remember forever – and thankfully, my memory hasn’t failed me yet because I treasure the memory as much as the coaster that his little hand created.
OK, this isn’t an episode about children’s art projects, but I would encourage young moms, make a big deal over all they create for you. You have no idea how it encourages them and opens so many possibilities for creativity in the future.
I’m sure that you have already heard and read lots of Mother’s Day posts this week. Our social media feeds are full of them…and many of us we echo one another. This is my Mother’s Day episode that I am selfishly doing for me. Will you hear/read something that someone else has said before – probably. That’s ok, we all have our unique twists. I simply wanted to take a small episode to honor the legacy of women I come from and to talk a little about Mother’s Day from my perspective.
If you know me (which chances are if you are listening to this, you at least know a little about me), you know that I’m a bit feisty. I am not an attention seeker – I’m more of an introverted-extrovert…and ambivert if you will. At almost 53 years old I’m living in a season of a shift in worldview and my feistiness has helped me navigate some hard changes in that arena. I was telling a friend over coffee this morning that a woman I greatly admire (the mom of one of my friends in grade school) once told me as an adult, “Stacy, be prepared for your worldview to shift when you hit middle age.” I thought she was certainly wrong – and yet, she was not. I honestly believe that the women who came before me set the course for the things I’m finding important now. Margaret, Lorene, Eileen…my grandmothers, all were strong and independent in their own rights. They spoke their minds with gentile conviction of heart. And all of them served others well. I strive to carry their spirits in my soul and to be a woman that would make them proud.
And once again, I digress!
Mother’s Day is hard for many. For me, this year will be the first year since 2015 that I will be at church. I will tell you that my stomach is already in knots when I think about potential hard moments of the morning. Watching families take photos at the photo backdrop. Seeing child dedications at each service. Hearing “Happy Mother’s Day” over and over again. I want to be happy, and I will fake happy for as much as I can…but the reality is, my reality is, the person who made me a Mom is no longer here. He is not here to tease me when I cry at Johnson & Johnson baby commercials, or to give me flowers that he hastily grabbed at the grocery store. Or better yet, to take credit for the gift that his wife actually thought about and purchased! (Actually, he was a really good gift giver. He put thought into gifts he bought for his family).
There is a gaping hole that will never be filled.
I was blessed to celebrate 31 Mother’s Days with my child earthside. I am blessed to be a Gigi and be celebrated in that role. I am blessed that I still have my mother to celebrate and to celebrate our daughter in-love. That doesn’t take away the ache and the reality that the link to all of that is missing.
While I was pondering this episode and what I wanted to write and say, I looked up how Mother’s Day got started. I love that its origins began with the heart of an abolitionist woman who truly wanted to end war. She wanted sons to come home to moms. I wanted to share that on this episode before I close with some final heart thoughts.
In the United States, the origins of the official holiday go back to 1870, when Julia Ward Howe – an abolitionist best remembered as the poet who wrote “Battle Hymn of the Republic” – worked to establish a Mother’s Peace Day. Howe dedicated the celebration to the eradication of war, and organized festivities in Boston for years.
Today’s commercialized celebration of candy, flowers, gift certificates, and lavish meals at restaurants bears little resemblance to Howe’s original idea. There is nothing wrong with that. But here, for the sake of honoring how it all began, is the proclamation she wrote in 1870, which explains, in her own passionate words, the foundation and dreams that she held for the original holiday.
Arise, all women who have hearts, whether your baptism be that of water or of tears! Say firmly: “We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies, our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.
“Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.”
From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own. It says, “Disarm, disarm! The sword is not the balance of justice.” Blood does not wipe out dishonor nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead. Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each learning after his own time, the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God.
In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality may be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.
WOW!
I first read that and it hit deep. The power and depth of a woman’s words – mothering words – they can move mountains and cross oceans for good change.
If you are approaching this Sunday with some caution like I am, can I offer some women we can each keep our hearts and eyes open to, especially on this day that is so hard for many? Women who we can celebrate.
The women, or women, who have mothered us. Our relationships with our moms or moms-in-law might be hard and complicated, but we can still thank them and minister to them by mentioning specific things they taught us. We can also acknowledge the faithful women who have made an impact on our lives as spiritual mothers.
How about the new mom in the trenches. Still trying to figure out how these diaper blowouts happen – because surely nothing that foul and in that amount could come from a human child. You see them, they are carrying a little one while trying to wrangle 2 other littles. You see her at church or in the store. Tell her she is doing a good job. She doesn’t hear it enough, and she should hear it on more than 1 day a year.
The single mom – oh my how I remember those years. Trying to provide all things as both mom and dad. Laying down at night crying myself to sleep simply wonting to make sure that my son felt loved and seen and secure, all the while wanting that for myself. If you know a single momma, send her a note of encouragement. Drop her an anonymous gift card. Let her know you see her. Parenting in marriage is hard enough, on your own is unimaginable for most people.
Those who are walking those the mountains and valleys of adoption, IVF or surrogacy so that they can hold a child of their own someday. If you know them, pray with them. Don’t simply say you are going to pray for them at some point, stop right then and pray with them. Check in on her as the week as months go by. She needs to know they haven’t been forgotten.
We all know a woman who has lost her mom and this will be the first year without her. You don’t need to say much, because words will often fail. Simply give her a hug and let her know how much you are thinking of her, and that you know she is wishing she had her mom to hug.
There are many other mom scenarios, you know them, make sure they know you see them – and be gracious with them as many will leave in tears from a church service they wish they never went to on Sunday. Many will cry their way through the day. Many will hide their pain and pretend all is well. And many will be celebrating just as they should for where they are at in the journey of motherhood.
Before I close this episode, I want to encourage every woman listening/reading as we head into Mother’s Day on Sunday. No matter your age or marital status. No matter the number of children you have or don’t have. We are all mothers in some way, shape or form. Mothers of faith, we encourage and lift the ones who are younger than us. We set an example – for better or worse – to those watching us. As women, we set the tone of our family every morning – and we lift our friends every day. God placed us in the season we are walking through for a reason. Let us not lose sight that, in the good and the bad times, as physical mothers, spiritual mothers and friend mothers, we are called and created for the good purpose of God’s Glory.
Photo by Phil Hearing on Unsplash
