More Than 'Just'...
I had the opportunity to speak to a beautiful group of women last month. This ladies are pastor’s wives and fellow ministry leaders. Can I say, as women we tend to struggle with what I spoke on a lot. Add in being married to a pastor or being a leader in ministry - I believe that it multiplies if we are not careful to keep our thoughts steeped in truth. Here is what I spoke on…I hope that you find yourselves blessed.
You are more than JUST…
Will you indulge me for a moment as I jump in with an object lesson of sorts? Last week we stepped into the season of all things pumpkin. We are even here in this beautiful setting and pumpkins are a glorious part of this event today. So, my object lesson, this pumpkin, really speaks to the idea of being more than ‘just’. You see, this pumpkin is more than just a pumpkin. “But Stacy,” you say, “it is just a pumpkin, it isn’t going to turn into Cinderella’s carriage.” (To that the Disney lover in me says, ‘you don’t know that for sure…’) Well, no, it’s not JUST a pumpkin.
Let me tell you a few things about this pumpkin, where it comes from, and how it is more than just…
This pumpkin is one-of-a-kind. It is different than any other pumpkin ever grown. There are no two pumpkins with the same stem, the same seams, or the same seed count inside. Even the flesh on the inside of each pumpkin is unique – it might be subtle, but there is internal uniqueness to each one.
This pumpkin comes from a vine that carries nutrients in such a way that, no matter where on the vine this pumpkin was anchored; closest to where the vine came out of the ground, or at the very farthest end, it would never lack and would grow just as big in either location.
This pumpkin came from a vine that gave all it had for as long as it was living to make sure this squash grew.
This pumpkin came from the seeds of those hundreds of years before it. And it contains seeds that will bring about pumpkins for hundreds of years beyond it, should the Lord tarry. The average pumpkin contains around 500 seeds. Imagine that! Seeds of blessings past and blessings to come.
Those are just a few of the incredible facts about this amazing fruit. I would say that concludes my object lesson, but those are just the starting points and I promise to show you how those facts are relevant to the topic of being more than ‘just…’
When I started the podcast last year, it was after years of hearing women say, “I’m just not creative.” Which began to make my heart hurt. I think so often we conflate being artistic with being creative – and they are not the same things. Every one of us is creative: whether you are a painter, an accountant, a stay-at-home mom who barely finds time in her day for a shower, a baker, a barista, and the list goes on. Diving even deeper to this tugging on my heart was, and is, when I hear women specifically say, “I’m just…” and insert whatever it happens to be:
I’m just a mom
I’m just a wife
I’m just a student
I’m just too young
I’m just too old
I’m just not educated enough
I’m just too quiet
I’m just too loud
I’m just a volunteer
I’m just too broken
I’m just…
After hearing those you might understand why I have come to not like the word ‘just’.
You see the issue is that we speak those ‘justisms’ to ourselves for a few reasons. One of those reasons is that we often need to keep reminding ourselves that our identity is in Christ and not in the things we do or have. After being a Christ-follower for 40 years I’m still undone that I need to remind myself of this. It is usually when I’m weak, emotionally drained, and either going into or coming out of, a particularly hard spiritual season, that I am a daughter of the Most High King. He knows me deeply, loves me unconditionally, and calls me His own. And each one of you can say that same thing. We are His unique Masterpieces, and because we are, there is nothing that He has called us to be here on this earth that is ‘just’ anything! As David says in Psalm 137:14 “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” I love how The Message paraphrase puts it, “I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation!”
So, once we understand and continue to remind ourselves Whose we are, we can start addressing those pesky ‘justisms’ of who or what we are. This is where the pumpkin references are going to come into play. Remember how I said a pumpkin is one-of-a-kind? Unique in its characteristics? Not the same lines, the same seed count, the same size, or the same location on the vine. Well, the same goes for each of us. Although, we lose sight of this so often when we compare ourselves not only to each other, to those beautifully curated Instagram posts, but also when we compare ourselves to the expectations that we place on ourselves. Sometimes we get so lost in this comparison and expectation cycle that we forget that we are a Masterpiece. You know that saying, “When God made you, He broke the mold”? Well, it’s true. There is no one person like another – including twins. Our fingerprints, our DNA, our eye patterns – there is no other person on earth that is a Masterpiece just like you. That’s how must God loves you and values you – so much that there will only ever be a one-of-a-kind YOU! So unique and costly are you that there is no ‘JUST’ about you! The world simply would not be the same without the beauty of you.
Like I mentioned about the pumpkins on the vine, they get all their nutrition from the vine – and that vine will send out runners to seek even more nutrients, for the pumpkins growing on those areas farther away from the base. When there are not enough runners seeking nutrients to support the number of pumpkins growing, there will be fruit that either withers and fades, or that never matures and stays small – never producing seeds inside. The same can be said for us. “Nutrients” for our souls come from God. Now, I know most of the time when we think about this, we equate it to time in prayer, in church, and in The Word. The nutrients I’m speaking of come from God through community and connection. Please know that I 100% believe that our time with God in His Word, in listening to the Spirit, and in seeking his face on prayer is of utmost importance. We cannot know Him better if we do not spend time with him, seeking him and learning about him. I think the other important thing to receiving nutrients is simply being quiet long enough to actually hear what he is speaking to our hearts. And while I believe these are so vital to growing well and mature, there is another extremely important way that God feeds and nourishes us, and that is in and through community and connection to one another.
In Ecclesiastes 4 verses 9 & 10, Solomon writes: “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” We need each other. We need to serve each other, love each other, and give of ourselves to one another in community.
If we don’t have accountability and vulnerability in connections with those outside of our families, the soul can suffer the same as a garden – weeds choking out the nutrients. In a garden, those weeds stunt the growth of plants. In our souls, those weeds can lead to not being able to see God moving in our lives. Which leads us to more ‘justisms.’ I’m just not good enough. I just can’t do anything right. I just don’t fit in. And so on. We need the good nutrients of God through connection – we need others to bring out the full beauty of who God is calling us to be.
Another way that we can find ourselves saying “I am just…” is when we have unrealistic expectations which lead to impatience. What I mean by that is – so often we set our self-imposed expectations so high, with timelines and all, that when we don’t meet those expectations in our time, we begin to fall into the ‘just’ trap. I will use myself as an example of this. I love learning all things artistic. From painting to photography, hand lettering to quilting, crochet to cross-stitch, writing to graphic design. I love it all and I want to learn it all. The reality is that I cannot learn all of it well. Nevertheless, I will pick up a new artsy hobby and somehow convince myself that I will surely be able to practice this new artistic medium a few times and then I will be a master at it. I will grab a few markers, a pad of paper, watch a few classes online, and then I will be hand lettering beautiful passages of Scripture in a week. You can all guess how that usually goes! And here’s the thing – it is not like I don’t know that practice makes perfect (and not simply a week of practice…a lot of practice), but there is something about the fact that I want the process to go faster. In my head, it should be easier, faster and the results should be there when I want them to be there. You can’t tell I’m an instant gratification junkie, can you? And yet, there is a beautiful unfolding when we go through the long process of practice and perfecting a craft. Looking at the pumpkin, we know all of the things that can come from that fruit: a pumpkin pie, or pumpkin bread, or pumpkin butter, but it is not those things…yet. So, to look and see where we want to be, or what we feel God calling us to be, and apply our own timeline to the process will simply lead to more ‘justs.’ We will see what He is doing in the process, but maybe not yet. He is completing each step of us as Masterpieces, in His own time. Sticking with verses in Ecclesiastes, everything happens just when it should happen according to God’s plan.
One last observation is that when we are so focused on the minor things that we cannot see the bigger details. Let’s all take a moment and think about the roles we have right now. Maybe some of those are the ones that you can sometimes find yourself using in the “I’m just…” statements. Maybe it is being the momma of itty bitties, maybe it is a job position or leadership position. Maybe you are right where you thought you would be at this stage in life, and maybe you often find yourself longing for something beyond this season. Whatever it might be, I’m sure that each one of us has gotten caught in only being able to see what is right in front of our eyes in the current circumstances.
When that happens, we can slip into anxiety, we can struggle to remember God’s truth, and often we can find ourselves wondering if what we are doing matters? I’m here to tell you – it does. You are not just! Remember all of the seeds in the pumpkins? Each one of those seeds holds great potential. Maybe some will be roasted and used to bring a nourishing snack. Some will be used in crafts. Some will be planted and turn into more pumpkins, and the seeds in those pumpkins will grow more pumpkins, and so on and so on. The same goes for each of us. What we are called to do, has lasting effects. The little steps of the process of learning and growing, those are the seeds that will grow far beyond us. Generations will benefit from the seeds of learning and growing that we leave behind. Some days, when we find our hearts wishing for more, or our minds getting tangled in the close-up details of life, or maybe our bodies are tired from the mundane tasks of where we have been placed, we simply need to take a deep breath, adjust our focus and remember that we are cultivating good seeds to share.
So, let’s revisit some of those ‘justisms’ I mentioned before – and let’s reframe them:
I am not just a mom – I am THE only mom made for my children! I get the honor of raising them and teaching them all the things that matter.
I am not just a wife – I am THE one who was made for my husband. I am THE one who gets to speak love and life over him every day.
I am not just a student – I have the opportunity to learn new and exciting things each week and look forward to putting this knowledge to work even before I graduate.
I am not just too young – I have been given knowledge and skills at my age and I am able to share that with those around me, even those older than I am. My voice is valued.
I am not just too old – I have lived a lot of life’s lessons and can share much wisdom with those around me. I get to walk alongside others walking the road I’ve already walked before them.
I am not just too quiet – I have a voice and I am able to speak my words with measured empathy and insight.
I am not just too loud – I have been given a voice to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.
I am not just too broken – while my story has been hard, God will use the scars that are left to tell a story of beauty in the broken to display his Glory through me.
See how different they sound when we take them from ‘I’m just’ to “I’m not just’? I think we need to make a practice out of reframing those ‘justisms’ that we speak to ourselves and to others about ourselves. When we start to slip back into the unhelpful, ‘just’, we need to remember the pumpkin.
The pumpkin is more than what we see on the outside. It is so much more. It is a beautiful, unique Masterpiece in the making. And so are each one of us. And do you know what that means? That means that not one of us is ‘just’ anything!
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash
