Finding the Christmas Calm

Hi. My name is Stacy and I’m a perfectionistic, people-pleasing, overachiever.

There, I said it. Of course, anyone who knows me even a little bit already knows this. Add in my Enneagram 2, my gift of hospitality, and my former event planner and you have all the ingredients for the making of a perfect mental, emotional and physical burnout during the holidays.

While I write that with a sense of humor and light-hearted self-teasing, it is pretty serious and something that I still have to push hard against, or I will find myself sick and struggling not only on Christmas but for many weeks following. It is a lesson that took many years for me to understand, much less get beyond. And now, well like I said, I still must push against that perceived ‘need to achieve,’ but establishing a helpful road map of care for myself seems to help (if I stay on the map and don’t allow the people-pleasing ‘GPS’ take over!)

So, how are you doing on this 13th day of December?

Are you finding yourself a little more on edge than usual? When someone asks you if you are ‘ready for Christmas’ do you only think about the things left to do/buy/make in order to say you are ready? Do you find yourself saying “yes” to activities or events when you know in your heart you have zero margin left and “no” would be the better answer for you and your family?

May I offer a few ideas to get some calm back into your Christmas – some Christmas soul care if you will?

How are you starting your days? Do you wake up in a panic running late for work or getting kids ready and off to school? I know that not everyone is an early riser like I am (hey, even I will admit that 5am is early!), but you don’t have to get up that early to start your day with a little bit of calm to set the tone of the rest of the day’s hours. I didn’t always get up at 5am. I used to like to sleep in. However, as I have gotten older, and like has remained just as ‘busy,’ I have found that my heart, soul, and mind need not just quiet, but very few lights on as well. So, I get up early and spend another 45 minutes to an hour simply being in the quiet with my coffee and my prayers, and right now the sweet white Christmas lights on the tree and the outside of the house. You don’t have to give yourself an hour. Maybe it is a simple 15 minutes before everyone else is up and going – and setting your alarm to a gentle song instead of the blaring airhorn! Maybe it is just enough time to step onto the back porch and watch the sunrise (it comes up later these days) or listen to the birds sing their morning songs. Just a small step to start the day with a slow entry instead of a rocket blast into the list of things on the agenda.

Now, you might suggest to me that you would take that time at night, and I would say ‘great’! However, I also set a nighttime routine to bring calm to my sleep. I would recommend finding a morning and an evening routine that brings calm. Maybe the evening is when you have a longer prayer time, or time in the Word, or reading. Whatever it is, try not to miss starting and ending your day with a rhythm of calm. For me, that is the hot tub (or a bath), a cup of tea, and the last thing I do before drifting off is to listen to the evening Lectio365 devotion (who am I kidding, most nights I fall asleep before it even finishes and I’m taking my EarPods out in the middle of the night!).

How about finding time to go for a walk – and not on a treadmill, but outside in the fresh air and the sunshine. Our bodies need that. Our minds crave it and our souls find new ways to see the Creator in it.

Perhaps thumbing through a cookbook on your shelves and finding a new recipe or an old one you haven’t made for a while, to make for dinner one night this week. I’m not saying look through one today and make it tonight – but plan it, linger in the process of preparing. 

Might I suggest forgoing fancy wrapping paper this year and picking up a roll of contractor’s paper from Home Depot and wrapping gifts in simple brown paper? There is a beauty in that simplicity. It glances back at decades past when there wasn’t fancy wrapping paper (who remembers using the Sunday funnies to wrap gifts!?).

How about lighting a candle? Or multiple candles. Turning off all the lights and enjoying an evening with no electronics (other than maybe music) and no artificial light – just the simple beauty of a candle flame.

Instead of buying gifts for more than your immediate family, or making elaborate desserts, why not bundle fresh fruit or nuts in the shells with a nutcracker. Better than buying gifts for family, invest in an experience. Movie tickets, dinner out to a favorite place, a night at a special hotel. And evening picnic with focused conversation and dreaming of the future.

This next one is a big one for me – and it may be just as big for you as well. Learn to say ‘no’. I have not mastered this one (see the aforementioned ‘people pleaser part of this post!). However, I’m learning that the best ‘yes’ is often a ‘no’. If I want to make space in my life to be healthy enough to give the best of me to others, I have to learn to answer with the best ‘yes’ and not simply a yes because I am afraid of disappointing someone.

This is such a beautiful time of year. So much to enjoy. So many to serve and love. However, you cannot do it all…and you can’t do any of it if you are worn weary, and ragged. So, please take care of yourselves. Find good ways to care for your soul, nourish your body, calm your mind, and gladden your heart.

And until next time…go out and find a creative way to make someone smile!

Photo by Jessica Fadel on Unsplash